Swimming Against the Current, Creating New Families

{Full disclosure – some names and places have been changed in order to respect privacy.}

My friends Eran and Renaldo first met some 15 year ago, and pretty soon became a couple. They moved in together, established their loving family-unit status, and life was good. But there was a problem. Eran, an Israeli living in Lisbon for a while, was due to return to Tel Aviv, while Renaldo, Portuguese, could not get automatic residence status in Israel because he is not Jewish.

Enter the Catch-22, castle-in-the-sky fantasy world of establishing a “different” family in Israel. Renaldo, in Israel on a tourist visa (which he took care to renew when it expired) was ineligible for employment. Eran in the meantime supported the family, and together they mapped out a plan of action, working through the maze with friends, colleagues, politicians and organizations. There was apparently no precedent for a non-Israeli, non-Jew to become engaged in a gay relationship in Israel. These guys were groundbreakers.

Renaldo joined an Ulpan and began to learn Hebrew. Because he already spoke fluent Portuguese, Spanish, German, French and English, he was a very desirable “catch” for a new international company that was starting up in Israel. Renaldo became a temporary resident, which meant he was legally entitled to work in Israel, and got the job. The new Israeli family unit was gaining recognition.

I’ll compress 15 years of bureaucracy into a few lines: Permanent residence status, followed by an Israeli ID card, a permanent work permit. But the elusive citizenship was not forthcoming. Eran & Renaldo eventually went to Canada to be married (same-sex marriages are legal there), and came back to Israel as a legally married entity – a family. Last week, the battles with the immigration authorities, the Ministry of the Interior, the Department of Labor, and more – are over. Much to his surprise, Renaldo received a telephone call that he could come to the Tel Aviv Interior Ministry office and receive his citizenship status. Renaldo is now an Israeli, and Renaldo & Eran’s family unit is now fully legal/activated/formalized (you choose the word you like).

Renaldo says that although he was not able to resolve all the issues for so many years, he was treated correctly and politely at all times by the staff at the various government offices. Still, there was never any doubt in his mind that he and Eran are a family unit, and that no pushy bureaucrat (or Minister) was ever going to change that.

I asked Renaldo why the citizenship issue was so important (after all, he already had permanent residence status in Israel as the spouse of an Israeli citizen).

“Because after 15 years in Israel, I am linked to the country and I wanted that confirmed by official citizenship.  And because if I were a woman, the question would never have arisen. Two men (or two women for that matter) are as much a family as any heterosexual couple. By granting me Israeli citizenship, Israel’s Ministry of Interior has now admitted that I am right. It’s a great feeling”.

Renaldo and Eran – welcome to Israel. Finally.

© Copyright   Jonathan Danilowitz   July 2011.

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2. Water Under the Bridge
3. Don’t Wed in Cyprus
4. Head to Head / Isn’t New York’s take on same-sex marriage a major step?
5. Parents petition Population Registry Law ‘bastard clause’ / By RUTH EGLASH